Stanley Kubrick Lied to us All: Prologue.
by Alan Smithee
Summary: A piece to begin the millennium, a prequel to "Lunar Cry", an attempt to get a serious story to stick.
1. Default Chapter Title

June 1, 1969.  
  
"Mr.President!" The head of NASA barged in quickly to President Nixon's office. "We have a huge problem!"  
"What happened now?" President Nixon asked.  
"There's a...problem...with the launch..." the NASA head said.  
"What? Apollo? What's the matter?"  
"Well, there's some stuff...on the moon..."  
"What? Is it actually made of green cheese?"   
"Well, no. It seems that there are a large amount of monsters on the moon."  
"Well, can't you just nuke the sons-of-bitches?"   
"DON'T YOU WATCH HORROR FILMS, MAN? If we nuke them, they'll all get much stronger!"  
"Well, we need to go through with the mission. We need to get people's minds off of Vietnam at any cost!"   
"Dude, we can't! Virtually everyone in America will be watching that landing! Do you want to risk all of those kids who are space freaks seeing our astronauts get brutally massacred?" The two stood silent.  
"You're right. I can't risk that. I don't want the Richard Nixon presidency to go down in history as the one that ended America's innocence..." the President replied.  
"Don't worry about it. I've already handled it. We've called up Hollywood, they've agreed to make up a soundstage exactly like the areas we've seen on the moon that don't look like monsters. It'll be all right...."   
  
December 31, 2000. Guadalajara.  
(translated from original language.)  
  
"So, less than one day left, eh, Esteban?"   
"You know it,dad!" Esteban replied.  
"Imagine, I never thought I'd live to see the next millennium!"   
"Yeah, I hate living to see the end of the universe too..."   
"What? This again? You did the same thing about the Y2K bug!"  
"I know, but I realized one thing: Computers are not smarter than a human. However, they're much smarter than the human race as a whole. Computers didn't buy into that Y2K thing because they knew the millennium starts in 2001!"  
"That's just conspiracy theory! Plus, even if it was a Y2K1 bug, that'd be fixed with the Y2K bug!"  
"Not exactly. Nature also follows this rule! It knows 2001 is the millennium! Either you're going to have to agree there or say that all that stuff you taught me about Jesus Christ being our Savior is wrong!"   
"Well...Jesus is love, son...he'd never allow people to be destroyed...."  
"Yeah. We'll see."  
"Oh, the clock's starting!"  
"10..." People around the world started counting down. Everyone with a TV was too busy concentrating on the big, Earth-bound ball to worry about the much further-away ball.  
"9..." The ball started to have a strange red glow all around itself.  
"8..." The red glow started to get covered in a white border.  
"7..." The border got bigger.  
"6..." The border got bigger.  
"5..." The large red glow became a large red spot. In Tokyo, the people celebrated. "It's a sign in the sky! We're destined for greatness as a country in the next millennium!", the people shouted.  
"4..." The spot got smaller.  
"3..." The spot got smaller.  
"2..." The spot was barely visible.  
"1..." The spot disappeared.  
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Fireworks started to blow up all over the world. In these, no one noticed a smaller, red object that looked like a laser over Buenos Aires....until it was too late. Within an instant, the entire country of Argentina was destroyed.   
"And we're just underway in the year 2001 here in New York, wait, is that... OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN!" A man in all white came down.  
"My lord..." Dick Clark said as he got down on his hands and knees.  
"That is right. I said I'd come back at the millennium, and I'm here to say to the world...WASSUP?" Jesus yelled.  
"But...why?"  
"There's going to be some deep doo-doo coming on in about...5 seconds..." Jesus replied...  
  
"Don't worry about this. The millennium's passed. It's all going to be fine..." Esteban's father thought. Suddenly, a wave of monsters headed through their house, quickly ending the old man's life. Esteban heard the silence afterwards and ran up the stairs. "YES! I WAS RIGHT!" the boy shouted. Suddenly, a straggling Imp came over and took Esteban's life. "DAMMITTTTT......"  
  
When the smoke cleared that day, everything within 500 miles of Argentina was laid to waste. No place on the planet was safe. The vast majority of the world's population was obliterated.   
"FINALLY, MY PRETTYS...THE TIME OF THE SORCERESS HAS OCCURRED!"  
  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Note from author:  
  
What's up? Listen, I'm going to need 4 writers who want in to act as main characters. If you want in, just put it in your review and I'll e-mail you for the basics of how your character is IRL to act in the story. Thanks. 


	2. Default Chapter Title

Chapter Two: Shit starts to happen.  
  
8 a.m.  
  
I have no life.  
I mean, come on, what is there to say more than that? My name's Tom, I'm young, I'm in my prime, I have no life to speak of. That's probably why I was home all of this time. Spending the new millennium night at home watching some movies, eating trace amounts of food, and just chilling in my basement/home. I always said that the stuff you do New Year's Eve will set the tone for the next year. Well, this looks to be rather uneventful. Eh, I'll just go get some food. Fucking starving. Haven't eaten in millennia....What? Mom? Dad? What the hell is that thing? Okay, be calm, a...a...monster of some kind...has just killed your parents....you'll have to get by on your own...and HE'S EATEN ALL THE LEFTOVER CHINESE FOOD TO BOOT? Oh, that's it....  
  
  
  
Tom proceeded to go over to the monster and start hitting it. This monster was (fortunately) very weak, so it was a quick move to destroy it.   
"Well, I've gotten some vengeance for the lives of my parents and the loss of that leftover Chinese....I guess I'll have to get something to eat." Tom headed outside to the cars. "Hmmm, my car's a piece of shit, their cars are quite good....Well, I'm not going to be coming back here again, so..." Tom proceeded to go back inside. He got some clothes on, picked up his CD's and the CD player he had given his mom for Christmas ("She's not going to need it anymore, I guess," he thought as he took her CD's), went to his own, junky car, took out a small, somewhat used postcard-sized piece of paper containing some bumper stickers, placed one on his father's car bumper, and drove off into the ice and melting snow. Some monsters attempted to come after him while he was in the car, but Tom just ran them down. ("I guess Dad would approve of these," he thought.) He noticed the gas tank was low. "Maybe I should get some more..." he thought.   
  
He headed to the nearest gas station. "That's odd, it doesn't look like there's anyone inside...but it's open..." Tom decided, "Screw this! I'm just lucky now!" He filled up his car and started to drive. Suddenly, he decided to go in. "You know, just in case..." He walked into the mini-mart to pay. Instantly, he was greeted by a moderately-sized Imp. "Why is it that they always have foreigners manning gas station mini-marts?" he asked as the Imp started to lunge at him. He proceeded to take the pot of coffee that was brewing and throw it in his face. "Self-Defense from 'Ridgemont High.' You want some more?" he yelled as he grabbed the Imp and snapped its neck. "Well, I guess that my gas is free...." Tom proceeded to raid all of the snacks he could get his hands on for a couple of trips and started to leave. "Well, this is a little off..." Tom proceeded to go back in, raid the place of all of their naughty magazines, then headed onto the open road.   
  
"Geez, I wonder what happened..." Tom tried to turn on the radio. He just heard music until he got to NPR. "GREETINGS, MY MINIONS. I AM THE SORCERESS DARTHANIA. OUR TOP STORY, THE MYTHICAL 'LUNAR CRY' HAS JUST OCCURRED. THE DEATH TOTAL IS....VIRTUALLY EVERYBODY WE FOUND! PREPARE FOR MY RULE OF EARTH! NOW, I GIVE YOU THE NEWEST SINGLE FROM THE BACKSTREET BOYS..."  
"DEAR GOD, THIS IS TERRIBLE!" Tom yelled. "THE BACKSTREET BOYS? Oh, wait, if everyone's dead...I can get WHATEVER I WANT!" Tom proceeded to head to various places which caught his eye. In each place, he had to fight monsters, but he was rewarded with cool things: All the CD's he could get his hands on at one place, large amounts of weaponry at another. Eventually, he had enough stuff to keep him able to live himself in a post-apocalyptic world.   
"Okay. Virtually everyone they found is dead...Think, Tom, Think. If you're going to need a sidekick, who's the one person who has less of a life than you do?"  
  
"Harry, are you home?"   
"Tom! What's up! Did you hear about the news on what's been going on? Everyone dying and stuff?" Harry asked.  
"Hell, yeah, man. How'd you survive?"  
"You know, I was downstairs just chilling. Guess it's lucky you didn't come over to do some stuff, eh?"  
"You know it. Listen, we're going to need to get out of here and quick. Monsters are all over the place."  
"Where do we go? I mean, we need to find more people..."   
"Well, who do you think would have any info on how to get through the new world?"  
"Well, I was watching New Year's Rockin' Eve, Jesus showed up before the onslaught, right? And if he couldn't survive, who could?"  
Tom was completely silent.  
"YOU WATCHED NEW YEAR'S ROCKIN' EVE? YOU IDIOT!"  
"Come on, man. I was bored."  
"Okay. Let's go. Where would Jesus be, anyway?"  
"I don't know. He was over in New York for that thing, right? Let's try there first."   
"I like your idea..." Tom and Harry headed over for his car. "Do you think we'll have enough gas to get there?"   
"Dude, no one's charging now. We're free to get whatever we want, whenever we want it, for no money at all!"   
"Excellent! Ooh, is that the new issue of 'Girl Next Door?'" Harry took the magazine as they headed for the Interstate.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
Note:   
I still need two more writers who want in on this. Come on, I'll be your friend... 


	3. Default Chapter Title

Chapter Three: Fighting, Writers,and the Son of God.  
  
"YOU IDIOT!" Harry said. "You took the wrong part of the Interstate!"  
"Well, EXCUUUUSEEEE MEEEE!" Tom yelled out. "Besides, what's the problem? We're heading north instead of west. Big Whoop..."   
"I'm sorry, man, but this is going to cost you. Too many of these mistakes, I'm going to have to throw you to the monsters...."  
"Okay, okay." The two drove a skosh more. "I think you're going to need to fill up the tank."  
"What, and risk fighting a monster? Eh, okay...Hold up...We may not have to after all..."  
  
"Why do I have to do this?"  
"Well, we wouldn't be heading this way if not for you, so..." Tom got on his knees and headed for the gas cap. "Okay, Hose...?" Harry passed him a hose. "Hose."   
"Nearby car...?" Harry pointed to a nearby, deserted car. "Nearby car."   
"Altoid?" Harry took out a small tin from his coat pocket. "Altoid."  
"Commence sucking..." Tom took the hose and began to siphon gas from the deserted vehicle. Eventually, he recieved enough to fill the tank of his own car up. "EXCELLENT!" The two headed back in their car and began to drive. "So, what's the goal here?" Harry asked.  
"I dunno. Try to find other survivors, I guess..."  
"Why? How many survivors should there be? You know, to repopulate the Earth?" Harry asked.  
"According to math I've seen, assuming there's 60 people of equal sexes, they repopulate without contraception, those kids marry, eventually the world will be repopulated?"  
"What about bare minimum?"  
"One guy, one girl, absolutely no sexual mores."   
"And in our situation?"  
"Test tubes, jackoff magazines, and cutting fertile women open to get the eggs."  
"I see. So, we should look for more women, right?"  
"Of course. I don't think looks or personality matter; we're golden..." Suddenly, the two were jumped by a strange looking guy in a trenchcoat with a large katana blade "WHO ARE YOU TWO?," the man yelled out.  
"Hold up, this is last resort..." Harry replied... "Hello, there, female of our species. Would you like to make love to me so that our species will repopulate?" The man sliced Harry's ear off. "Now I'm not pretty anymore! Waaah!"  
"Dude, this is a dude, " Tom replied. "Dude, dude." The guy went over to Harry. "DUDE!"   
"Well, what's your M.O.?" Harry asked.  
"Name's Jeremy." The guy shook Tom's hand.  
"What's up? I'm Tom, this is my comic relief sidekick Harry."  
"Do...you...greet...all...new...people...by...cutting their ears...off?"  
"Well, only those guys who ask me to have their babies..."  
"Okay, then. Good to know."   
"Well, who are you with?"  
"Basically, we're just kicking it, trying to repopulate the world." Tom replied.  
"I see. Where are you trying next?"  
"Well, we were going towards New York to grill Jesus, but this WHORE stopped us from going that way..." Harry fumed.  
"I said I was sorry! What more do you want?"   
"I'm just venting here."   
"Well, let's go. This place is way too screwed up as it is..." The three got into the car and headed off.  
  
"So, do you know how to get to New York from here?" Harry asked.  
"Hold up, let's just stop for directions..." Jeremy replied. "There's a fast food joint/gas station right there..."  
"Um, Jeremy, you might be interested to know something...." Suddenly, a herd of Bite Bugs headed out towards them. "Gas stations, fast food joints, crawling with monsters." Tom replied. The three got out their weapons as they tried to work it. Tom proceeded to take out a sledgehammer and crack the head of one of the bugs open, Harry beat one into submission, and Jeremy sliced the last into two evenly cut pieces.  
"I doubt we can get directions in here, but..." Tom asked. "I'll take the gift shop, you two raid the kitchen of this place. Now!" The three headed to their areas. Tom stole all the road maps he could carry. He then jumped over the barrier and got to the kitchen. "Take all of the 'meat patties' you can get your hands on, quickly!" They did exactly that and ran back to the car.  
"Why do we need these?"  
"Duh? You're good at flinging stuff, right? Toss these out when you see a lot of monsters, they'll be distracted from us!"  
"What? We can't eat it ourselves?" Jeremy asked.  
"Well, fast food IS unfit for human consumption anyways..." Tom replied.The three continued driving. Eventually, they hit Times Square.  
"Where would Jesus stay in a town like this, anyways?" the three asked. Suddenly, they saw a bolt of light beating up monsters who tried to touch it.   
"Um, Jesus Christ, I presume?" Harry asked.  
"WHAT? WHO IS IT? I'LL KICK YOUR MONSTER ASS!"   
"Um, no one, it's just some humans...." Tom replied.  
"Oh, hey, so, you survived? Good for you. What would you like to know?"  
"Basically, we're attempting to unite the survivors in the world so that we can repopulate the Earth..." Jeremy replied.  
"Okay. Well, I'm not sure about that, but I can probably help you make it habitable for humans..."   
"How?" Harry asked.  
"KILL ALL THESE FRICKING MONSTERS!"  
"Okay. But, how did they all get here?"Jeremy asked.  
"Oh, this is a story. Basically, there's a few things you need to know. First off, monsters are all aliens. These aliens are all from different planets and moons. They'd each invade the next closest one, have a short war, but eventually join forces and invade the next planet. Now, they're up to Earth."  
"But why?" Tom asked.  
"They're under the control of the Sorceress Darthania, a former God turned evil, evil bitch. She got one of those old prophets, Jeremiah or something like that, under control as her 'knight' or something, and just went apeshit. She called out a whole bunch of old-school gods, and just tried to take over Heaven. We kicked her ass and tried to banish her to Hell, but she did the same thing down there. We just tried to cast her to the farthest reaches of space after that. Now, she's back, and she's pissed." Jesus replied.  
"Excuse me, other gods?" Jeremy asked.  
"Yeah. All those old religions had some nugget of truth. You're only a god if someone worships you. As a result, she got these old gods, renamed them God Freaks or something like that, and went to town. Now, they're her minions."  
"But if these are gods, how do we stop them?" Harry asked.  
"Well, two of the weakest of these "GF's" switched allegiance during the battle. Once this happened, we had their number. We then released them and tried to tame them as best we could. Here, I'll call them and pass them to you for help..." Jesus spread his hands towards the sky. Instantly, two GF's came tumbling down. "I give you, Wesliy and Wiezie, the Chicken Cow and the Vampire Bird!" The two GF's headed toward the three.   
"Thanks, man. What else do we need to do to beat them up?" Tom asked.  
"Well, there's an integral part of the Sorceress's Matrix that was dropped. If you find that, you'll get a bit more power towards your side. The last whereabouts I found it was in Illinois. Head there, you'll have a much easier time to fight these things." Jesus left, yelling:  
"If you need any more help, JUST ASK FOR IT...."   
  
"Let me guess. We're going to look for that piece, aren't we?" Harry asked.  
"What, you had something better to do? Everyone's dead but us! Let's just have some fun!" Tom said.  
"Excellent!" Jeremy replied. The three got back in and started to drive.  



	4. Default Chapter Title

Chapter 4: SEIFER isn't going to be the WWF Hardcore champion...  
  
"Out of gas again! Why can't car companies involve gas mileage for 'Post-Apocalyptic World?'" Tom asked.  
"Don't worry. Just siphon a bit here, get up to that gas station, we'll be fine," Harry replied. Tom did that, and they drove to the station.  
"Um, dude, if we had to siphon anyways, why not just continue?"   
"Duh, we need a chance to wildly try out our new GF's, man!" Jeremy replied. They quickly saw a random deer being chased by two Toramas.   
"Ready..." the three shouted.  
"NOW!" Harry let loose with the Chicken Cow. It proceeded to fly over to the three animals and stab all of them in their dorsal region, leaving them as ice sculptures.  
"SWEET!" The three replied. "Let's go inside for this!"  
"Hello, welcome! May I help you?" the clerk said.  
"I think you can..." Jeremy replied. "HELP A LOT!" He let loose with the Vampire Bird. The Vampire Bird proceeded to suck the life out of the clerk and spray it onto the three, revitalizing them.  
"Um, dude, I think that was a human..." Harry said.  
"He might have been, he might not have been. But what is certain is this. He helped us test out our GF, and now there's more of the surviving women for us." Jeremy replied.  
"I see. You sacrificed yourself for good cause, noble merchant. Now let's raid this fucking place..." The three stocked up on whatever they thought they'd need, filled up, and zoomed away.   
  
18 hours later...  
  
"tee hee hee...I am Selphie...Am I not so pretty? All the boys want me because I'm so pretty..." Tom started to say.  
"Um, Tom? Maybe one of us should drive while you get some sleep?" Harry said.  
"Tom? Sorry, the messenger is not important...only I am! Do you think I'm pretty?"  
"Please let us get to this Sorceress's Matrix thingy before he kills us all..."Jeremy replied.  
"But that would be the work of a bad driver! This is MY car! No chance!" "Selphie" said as he crashed into a stuck Yugo. "Like you...?" they asked in unison.   
"What happened? Tee hee, I'm fine..."   
"What'll we do now?" Harry asked.  
"I think we both know...." Jeremy pointed Harry towards a nearby Hummer. "IT's on the road, the keys are still inside..."   
"The only owner's dead, no monsters are here..." Harry replied...  
"Tom's delirious and apparently thinks he's a character in a video game..." The two thought it out...  
"BONUS!" They quickly moved all of their stuff into the Hummer. Harry stood sentry and flung meat patties all around the other side of the Interstate, then had the Chicken Cow mow down the standing monsters. Finally, Jeremy took Tom and put him in the backseat.  
"But the front seat is the comfy seat!" the delirious Tom replied.  
"Don't worry. You did your part for now. Sleep..." Tom slept as Jeremy took the wheel and headed like a madman for Illinois.  
  
"Whoa...." They replied as they stepped out of the car.  
"Would you take a look at this place? Must've been the epicenter of the problems..." Jeremy said.  
"Nope, this is the ghetto of Chicago. There's no damage here..." Harry replied.  
"Well, where would that Sorceress's Matrix be?" Tom asked.  
"I don't know. Why don't you ask 'Selphie'?" The two chimed in.  
"For the last time, YOU TRY BEING ON ALL 8 CYLINDERS AFTER THAT MUCH DRIVING WITHOUT SLEEP!" Tom shouted.  
"Well, does anyone know a way to get to the magic thingamabob from here?" Harry asked."How about we call a cab?" Jeremy asked. "They're bound to know..."  
"Um, dude...Cab drivers are dead...." Harry asked.  
"Don't worry. I have a plan..." Jeremy and Tom walked until they found three Imps. Tom hit them with his sledgehammer, knocking them out while Jeremy took his katana blade and skinned them. "Three skins, at your service..."   
"These don't look convincing to be monstrosities, man. We'll need something more monstrous...." Harry said.  
"Well, let's see. Monstrous...Is there an Old Navy near here?" Tom asked.  
"I don't know. Let's get in." Tom and Jeremy headed into the cab, while Harry followed in the Hummer.  
"MoombaMoombaMoomba?" the driver asked.  
"Where's the Sorceress's Matrix?" Tom asked.  
"Moombamoomba?"   
"No, we wouldn't like to take that route..."   
"Dude, you can understand that?" Jeremy asked.  
"No, I can't. I mean, why'd he want to take us the route by Wrigley? At this time of day, it'd be killer..." Tom said. The cab started driving. Eventually, they hit the Sorceress's Matrix.  
  
The three stepped out of their respective vehicles. "Um, here's your money..."  
"MoombamoombaTWOmeaslybuckstip?Moombamoomba..." The driver sped away.   
"Okay,that's done. Now, WHAT is this?" they stared.  
"Apparently, we've made it." Tom said.  
"Eh, it's boring. Who's up for the nearest mall?" Harry asked.  
"NO." They stared in wonder. Suddenly, a youngish woman came jumping out from behind the Matrix.  
"Is it the Sorceress?" They asked as they cowered in fear.  
"HIYIYIYIYIYIYI... *OUCH*...YI," the girl screamed.  
"Well, probably not the Sorceress. I mean, come on. The sorceress would have much better aim..." Jeremy replied.  
"YOU MONSTERS AREN'T GETTING ME! I'M TOUGH, I'M POWERFUL, I'M A FRICKING SORCERESS AS LONG AS I'M HERE!" the girl shouted.  
"Um, chill. We're not monsters..." They took off their skins. "HARRY! WHAT THE HELL?"  
"Well, it was tight, and going commando makes me feel nice..." Harry replied.  
"Go back to the car and GET SOME PANTS ON!" the two guys shouted.  
"Let me guess. Other survivors?" the girl asked.  
"Yep. You?" the two replied.  
"Yep."  
"Okay. Party. Why are you here?" Tom asked.  
"Live here. All of a sudden, this thing happened to drop near my house. I survived that whole Lunar Cry mess, I felt it was mine. I touched some stuff I found to it, and all of a sudden..." the girl pulled out some claws. "Unfortunately, I'm not as good with them as I'd thought I'd be..." She put her sleeves up to reveal some slice marks.  
"Don't worry. You're a teenage girl, no one will notice any difference. Just pretend to be sullen and it'll all be better..." Jeremy replied.  
"Awesome. By the by, my name's Maryi. Nice to meet you..." The girl put her hand out to shake, but neither did.  
"I'm Tom. This is Jeremy. He's some dude we picked up off the road for kicks. The guy without pants is Harry. I'd shake, but those claws..."  
"Oh, sorry." Maryi put her claws back in. "Now, what did you come here for? Post-apocalyptic Chicago is just like any other...post-apocalyptic city..."  
"Well, what's with...That?" Jeremy asked.  
"Nothing, really. Just that it can create magic, but that's normal..."  
"AWESOME!" Jeremy proceeded to stick his Katana blade into the Matrix. Instantly, it came out looking much cooler and slightly more powerful than before. "I LIKE THIS THING..."   
"Ooh, can I try?" Harry proceeded to throw a meat patty onto the Matrix. A hungry dog came by and ate the patty, then headed over to him. "What's up, G?" the dog replied.  
"Awesome...I've got my own little 'God Freak'!"  
"Cool, what'll you name it?" Maryi asked.  
"I think I'll call it...Peanut."  
"Aw! That's a sweet name! Why?"  
"Well, because, as we all know, Dogs will lick peanut butter off of anything..." Harry's voice deepened about two octaves. "...ANYTHING." Maryi turned her head in disgust.  
"Idiot! You don't do that to possibly the last surviving female of the species!"  
"Sorry!" Harry told Peanut to stay, threw another piece of meat on the Matrix, and watched it become a form of discus.  
"Awesome..."  
"Now, it's my turn..." Tom tried to hit it with his sledgehammer, but it cracked the Matrix (and his sledgehammer) in two. "DAMMIT! What do I use?" Tom asked.  
"Well, let's see..." Maryi put a stone on one of the pieces. "It still works, only now we can carry it. Do you have a good weapon?"   
"Um, no..." Tom asked. Suddenly, his stockpile of CD's came downwards. "Yeah, but those are...You wouldn't..."  
"CD Player?" Jeremy asked.  
"CHECK!"   
"CD'S?" Maryi asked.  
"CHECK!"  
"Tom tied up with player and CD's in hand?" Harry asked.  
"CHECK, okay?" Tom replied. They put the Matrix's second part on his CD player and dropped the CD's on each one. Instantly, the CD player became a sort of miniature staff while the CD's became various forms of Blue, White, Red and Black magicks.  
"AWESOME! Mine only did some white magic, but THAT?" Maryi exclaimed.  
"Well, I always knew I had eclectic taste..." Tom replied.   
"I figured. This guy...owns...LFO...." Harry said.  
"Shut up! I got it...while drunk and high...for my girlfriend...who died in the Cry...while not having had lost her virginity at 14 to a 24 year old man!" Tom replied.  
"BITCH!" Harry said as he tried to throw his Discus at him. Tom proceeded to counter with a form of Laser out of his eyes. "SWEET!" Tom said.  
"Awesome...Let's see. I have claws, you have optic beams...If I know my X-Men correctly, you're going to have to be my rival now, right?" Maryi asked.  
"I don't think so...Let's go now. You should probably come with us now, we need a good 'chick with claws' on our roster..." Jeremy replied. Maryi jumped in. Tom took the wheel and they headed away.  
  
Suddenly, in England, the Sorceress was angered.  
"THEY'VE GOT MY MAGICK MAKER! NO! I'll Get those people..." Darthania screamed. "Jeremiah, GET THEM!" Darthania proceeded to take her full power and targeted the ground. Instantly, they seperated Scotland from the rest of the area and sent it towards the United States. "This will teach them..."  
  



End file.
